hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
