JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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