I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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