I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
