Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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