I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
