if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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