real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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