wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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