I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
