It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
