I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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