Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
