I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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