i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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