My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
