should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
