know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
