she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
