We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
