If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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