You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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