captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
