if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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