I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
