When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need a hoe opinion
go on
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
