I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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