Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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