And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
