Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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