She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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