i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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