don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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