yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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