its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
