...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
