I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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