Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize