; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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