Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
