yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
