So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
