if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
