Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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