literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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