I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
