Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
