so explain again why im purple
no
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
