He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
