walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
