I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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