I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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