you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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