Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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