so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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