My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
