I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
