Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
