so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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