Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
