She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
