doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
