Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i've created a new STD.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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