You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
